Sex and the Campus: When Friends and Relationships Collide

Friendships are key to our growth as individuals. The people we surround ourselves with have the greatest influence over us. For women, friendships are created by sharing information, experiences and secrets. Whereas, men tend to relate by participating in activities together. However, what happens when our friendships pose a divide between our relationships? What if you don’t like his friends, or he doesn’t like yours?
Friendships can cause issues within a relationship, if the friend’s personality doesn’t mesh well with yours. On the same note, sometimes you like the majority of his friends, but there is a particular individual that you can’t seem to stand. Your new devoted time to one another naturally creates a distance with friends. However, they still have a place in his life. Although, you can not understand the bond he has with his friends, realize the importance they have and hard it would be hard for him to sever them. Those qualities that make it hard for you to stand are what he has grown to accept and may not pick up on them as you do.
Most baggage we accept when we enter into a relationship with our partner. We handle the clingy mothers, past relationships and the personality quirks. However, we overlook the carry-on. The friendships he has from over the years, are part of the whole package. Believing you can separate him from his friends is ill-advised. Just as you hope your friends will like who you are with, he wants you to like his friends as well. This doesn’t mean that you have to be as good of friends with them as he is, but making a point to be with him when his friends are not around will enviably create a distance with him.
On the other side of the coin, your partner should be willing to step in if his friends step out of line. Most of the time, if his friends care about him, they will also make an effort to like you as well. However, when those pesky friends arise, finding out why those friendships are so important may be a solution. Understanding how their friendships began and the qualities he enjoys in his friends, gives you the insight you need to develop a better middle ground with his friends. Although your partner may be able to sustain your needs, there will always be some roles friends can meet better. Another way to endure his friends is to participate in common events and interests. If nothing else, he will see the effort you are making. In the end, what you put into the relationship will translate into what you get back in return.