Sex and the Campus: He Said She Said

Communication is the foundation for any successful relationship. So why does it seem we have more misunderstandings when it comes to communicating with the opposite sex?  Why can we tell our closest friend whatever we are feeling and what we are thinking, but stumble with the person we share a bed with?



According to curiosity.com, the difference in discourse styles is formed by how there relationships developed in their childhood. Girls’ friendships were built on discussing and sharing experiences and secrets, while boys tended to focus on “activities rather than conversation.” This translates into their future relationships. “Women communicate through dialogue, discussing emotions, choices and problems. Males remain action-oriented — the goal of communication is to achieve something.” In short, women want men to work at understanding where they are coming from, while men struggle to mind read.

The question isn’t who is more complicated or more at fault. Communication barriers are a constant issue in relationships. The trick is to understand the natural divide between each other, then focus on how to effectively communicate despite those differences.

In Deborah Tannen’s book, “You Just Don’t Understand: Men and Women in Conversation,” “Men use conversation as a way of inserting independence. Women use language as a tool for intimacy.”
There are simple techniques to implement into your relationship to decrease the chances of a misunderstanding arising.

• When confused, ask for clarification.
• Maintain eye contact.
• When giving each other directions, pretend as if your mate is a stranger. You will invest more energy into making sure they don’t get lost. The same applies in relationships.
• Avoid being passive aggressive and withholding of feelings. It will get you nowhere.

Remember, it doesn’t matter what the road you travel down, when you end up at the same destination.